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This evening I recalled at night that I had when I was in college and I felt compelled to write it down.

There was this boy. Isn't there always some boy? Anyway, he acted as if he liked me. In fact, he was the one that was under the impression that we were dating. I decided to go along with that. I liked him too.

I had things that I had to do at the the school late into the night. The particular thing this night was play rehearsals.

Several days before, he had asked me if I would like him to pick me up from school. This was between 10 and 11. I said that he could if he would like to. He said that he would. The day of this event I asked him again to make sure he was going to be there. I wanted to make sure I didn't need to go home and get my car. He said that he would be there.

I am at rehearsal and there is a huge storm outside. It is raining harder than I have ever seen. When rehearsals end I do not ask anyone for a ride, in fact I think I turned down I ride, because I thought he would be outside to pick me up. He wasn't. I waited.

I start walking home in this rain. A little water never hurt me. Half way there I decide that this rain is much to hard for me to continue through. I am also freezing. I call my ex-roomie to ask her if she could take me home. She came to get me in an instant. I love her.

The next time I talk to the guy he tells me that he was at a friends house helping him with his computer and that he had never even attempted to come pick me up. I ask if he forgot and he said no. He just didn't come and he didn't care.

I was never under the impression that we were dating until he brought it up, so what happened? You don't treat someone that you like this way. My roommate, whom I no longer lived with, treated me better than this guy did.

Guys have a funny way of showing that they like someone. At least women pretend like they care. Guys don't care and they don't pretend to and they expect you to think that they do anyway.

That is my story. It was years ago. I will never see that boy again. If I do see him again, I am not even going to pretend that I care.
 
 
 
 
 
 
There are lots of times that I do not understand myself and the things I do. Then again, I do understand them and I wonder if my actions are really what they seem to be in my head.

Tonight I made my son sit at the table because he wouldn't eat his dinner. I told him he could eat it, he could sit there until bedtime, or he could go to bed. He chose to go to bed.

I don't feel like I do that to him often. I have done it a few times. I started wondering if I am being consistent in what I do with him. I guess I am because he normally eats his food. So, there is never any reason for sitting at the table until bed.

I guess there was nothing wrong with my actions tonight. I guess he was the one that was changing things around.

His dinner must have been really horrible. I refuse to have one of those kids that will not eat what I make him for dinner. He will eat what I serve whether it is horrible or not.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I read most of my old posts last night when I could not sleep. I was pleased with them. It is nice to know that I am still who I always have been.

I post this today because I think it will be interesting to see the different times in my life that I decide to come back to this place and how much time lapses between visits.

I don't mind if my friends here have left me. They have their own lives to live. I don't think that anyone ever really keeps up with any internet journaling for any long periods of their lives.

I talked about being pregnant and having a baby in previous entries. He is 2 now. He is beautiful and love him more than love could understand.

The boyfriend that was the topic of some of the more depressing entries is no more. Well, at least he isn't my boyfriend anymore. I can't ever fully get rid of him. My son came from somewhere.

I am pleasantly happy in my life right now.

I love to pay my bills, it makes me feel accomplished.

I will be here again.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Why do YOU think that "THEY" think that "THEY" know what is right for YOU?
 
 
 
 
 
 
I need to throw some of these fortunes away so here they are.

You should be able to undertake and complete anything.

Good news will come to you from far away.

Sing and Rejoice. Fortune is smiling on you.

You have at your command the wisdom of the ages.

Grand adventures await those who are willing to turn the corner.

Fate happens now. You decide.

Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings while the dawn is still dark.

If you always do what you have always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.
(That one is my favorite.)

Interpersonal emotions are likely to be pretty intense.

Stick to those practices you know to be safe and proper.
(I don't really like that one. I think people should live their lives not just exist.)

All your hour hard work will soon pay off.
(You gotta love it when fortunes cookies have typeo's.)

You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.

Those are all of the fortunes that I see on the desk right now. I will probably find more later. Have fun contamplating the meaning of life.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Dove Promises continued:

Create peace for yourself.

Learn to say "hello" in another language.

Believe the best in yourself.

That is it I guess. I ate the whole bag. There were quite a lot of repeats in there.
 
 
 
 
 
 
These are Dove Promise Messages. I can't keep them lying around so I thought I would put them here so that I can throw the wrapers away.

Kick a bad habit today.

Close out the world for just a moment.

Make a pledge to get 8 hours of shut eye.

Remember your first best friend.

Give of yourself to someone who needs you.

Life is all about making memories.

Be a good listener to your friends.

The most enjoyable experiences are often free.

Slow down today, enjoy what you have.

Make the most of today.

In chaos there lies opportunity.

There will probably be more later. That is what I have for right now though.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Yesterday I came to a realization. Anything that exists can happen to anyone that exists.

Even the things that you think are crazy and only happen in movies. Watch out, because they can happen to you too.

I guess it is okey when the good things happen to us. When the bad things happen to us, it kind of makes you think. It is sad that the good things don't make us think. I guess we just tend take those things for granted.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Children are fearless. In order to take care of them, you must be too.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I am going to live my life the way that I feel it should be lived. I will do the things I want to do and also the things that I feel need to be done and I will do them in the way that I choose to do them. I am not going to follow anyone and I am not going to do things just because other people do them. I never have and I never will. I choose my path and I go by that. That is a trait that I hope my son will develop. That is my one goal with my son. I want him to know who he is and to never follow anyone just because. I want him to be his on person and to know exactly who that person is at all times. He should be leading the followers, not following the masses.